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For a little while I felt myself being pulled away from pain and into something similar to happiness. But, only for a little while. I'm back in the rut called life again and it sucks. All I feel like doing is sleeping and crying. But, I can't sleep and I feel weak when I cry. One time when I was upset about something, someone I was close to made a joke about me crying and it really hurt. Now everytime I cry I think about what they said and how much it hurt.

I hate my life.

...

I've got 95 for my average yeaaaaaahhhhh.

Yesss It's school finally!!!

Dang, there were some hot guys donating at plasma yesterday! Mmhmm. I was just like damn, haha. I saw maybe like, umm, 4 hot guys within 30 minutes, I was just like damn! LOL. And usually there's nothing but old looking, trashy looking guys, so yeah, I was a tad excited :D Haha. There's this one guy, I first saw him when I was donating, he had sat right across from me. He had this smile that like melts you. I don't really know how old he is...maybe like 25 or something...a tad old but yeah, lol. I love his smile. Well he was there. And then this other dude, he was tall and muscular, I was like, OMG! He had a nice ass body. They laid him pretty far so I couldn't see him well, lol. He was just like, ahh, lol. I think it was barely his 2nd time donating. He was hot! Then this other dude, he is cute! He looks like he has a big..well you know, haha. Mexican, cear face, cute smile, anda little meat like I like it, lol. So yeah, and then this other Mexican dude with an army shirt on, he had a cute face and from what I could see a pretty nice body. Ok, well told you this was short...just wanted to write this down because it's not everyday when hot guys donate ;D

Hi you guys!

This is my first day writting in my online diary. I am not English, so maybe my English isn't good and stuff. But anyways, I think today was kind of fun. This year I made new friends, and finally we went out! It was awesome! We went to the cinema to see 'Meet the Spartans'. Most of my friends are guys and I'm a girl. So it was kind of weird... Hard to describe. But afterwards, me and my friends talked, I got to know them better. I realized that these are my 'real' friends. They care about me. And I care about them! And they accept me for who I am. And that makes me so happy! Because the friends I had before them, didn't even care. When I had a problem, they would be like: 'so what, who cares?'. I mean aren't friends there to help you? To have fun with? I know I learned what fun is supposed to be! I'm so glad! And tomorrow I'm going shopping with a friend. She's my best friend! I share everything with her, even my secrets. And I can't wait.

I am so tired. Tomorrow I'll write more...

青春是什么?

敦敦的十一岁生日就到眼前了, 说来也快，从出生到现在，敦敦用十一年的时间刚刚找到当小孩的感觉，就不经意地走到了青春期的门口。想来想去, 写了下面这首青春的赞美诗送给敦敦做他十一岁的生日礼物.

青春是什么?

如果把人生比作四季, 青春是那美丽的春天.

如果把人生当作乐章, 青春是那欢快的序曲.

如果把人生喻为战斗, 青春是那出征的号角.

如果把人生看做航行, 青春是那海上的风雨.

让春来得更早吧, 我乐与梅花共舞.

让乐奏得更响吧, 我将与音符共鸣.

让号吹得更昂吧, 我愿把热血挥洒.

让风刮得更猛吧, 我要驾风帆前行.

我赞美青春, 她多彩艳丽.

我赞美青春, 她激情澎湃.

我赞美青春, 她充满力量.

我赞美青春, 她无畏气概.

Yeah it is almost Friday! I'm going to a basketball game with my son tomorrow. This will be our first professional game. He is so excited!

My boss will be out most of next week so the atmosphere at work will be more relaxed. I really wish I could get out of there, but not having much luck looing for another job. I'll just give it some time and keep looking. Hopefully I'll find something soon-before I lose my mind! though until then I'll have to try to stay positive and do the best I can.

元宵节有感

今天是传统的元宵佳节，下午，我按习俗走街‘消病’，走到现代艺术馆，瞄了一下青年国际摄影展 (Unseen)，又多走了几步顺便瞧了瞧意大利现代雕塑回顾展。

影展涵盖青春期，监狱，普通人的服装和伊拉克战争，这些未来的摄影大师还是太年轻了点，看东西的角度不十分刁钻，作品普遍缺乏震撼力。

意大利的现代雕塑看起来不那么容易懂，我的直觉是这伙艺术家们如果没能投身艺术界很可能得入住精神病院。只有这些处在精神边缘的艺术家才有能力跳出常人思维创造这些具有超常美感的雕塑。三年前我到剑桥开会，B&B里吃早餐时我跟一个意大利大学生聊了一阵，他告诉我，“意大利经济不好，工作不好找，年轻人很痛苦。”

‘物质的微妙能量’主题不靠谱，艺术品不会撒谎。我相信我的直觉，这些雕塑虽然在用料上下了一番功夫，但传递给我的信息真是一种死气沉沉的感觉，艺术家们显然都没过上他们想过的幸福生活，这气氛和前些日子看的伦勃朗和黄金时代有天壤之别。没想到随着欧洲的经济衰退，后现代艺术颓废到这个地步。现时上海艺术家们恐怕用不着用这样的色彩和构架来抒发自己的无奈和彷徨。要我说如果不考虑意大利人的面子这个展览就叫‘无奈的梦’还比较贴切。

晚上我们一家三口吃过烫圆就邀请几个朋友出门放花，我还真感谢意大利的现代艺术，它让我明白，人不能生在福中不知福，我们应该珍惜眼前这璀璨的日子。

防弹背心

敦敦最近开始浏览中英文的报纸, 昨天读到美国校园枪击案, 他很深入地研究了一番, 可能是受老妈的统计基因影响, 这小子似乎明白由量变到质变的过程, 他统计了近年的死伤总数后, 郑重其事地对我说, “老妈, 您如果想让我到美国留学, 请您最好给我准备一件防弹背心.” 孩子说的不是完全没道理, 特别是在911后，他们这一代人没有安全感.

我上小学五年级时, 我们班上有一个问题学生, 他把一块石头, 扔过房顶, 馒头大的石头正中我的前额, 我顿时血流如注, 在同学的搀扶下, 走15分钟到父亲的医院, 做消毒止血的治疗. 至今我的额头上还有一个胡桃大的骨节, 这是我小学时代刻骨铭心的印记. 说来也奇怪, 也就从这次脑瓜被石头砸开瓢后, 我似乎告别了少年混沌期, 脑子变得异常地清醒, 数学从来就没困难, 中学数学竞赛总考全校第一，即使是曾经鲜血泼面，我心里从未害怕过。更没担心过自己的性命。今天时代不同了。这帮可怜的90 后的心目中的世界远不及我童年心中的世界美好，因为他们心理上都已经穿上了‘防弹背心’。

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2008 - 10 MONTHS WITH GUILLIAN BARRE'

Ron was moved to Trinity Mother Frances Rehabilitation Hospital yesterday. He is in Room 121A. He will start extensive rehab today - please pray for him as he still has a great deal of pain. He welcomes visitors so if you are in Tyler please stop by and encourage him. We continue to lift up Ron's family as the days get long for them also!! Words cannot express their appreciation to each of you for your prayers, comments, visits and cards - May God Bless each of you!